Irish Bulls
I got an email from my network administrator saying "If you don't recieve this email, please let me know." An amusingly absurd statement, that almost made sense. Such statements, that makes no sense and often contradicts itself, are Irish Bulls. We hear then almost everyday.
Can you think of one ?
- We are overpaying him, but he is worth it.
- It would be a lovely day if it wasn't for the weather
- Back to back, they faced each other.
Can you think of one ?
posted by Rajesh Lal at
11:45 PM
31 Comments:
My favorite is "I didn't do Nothing!"
One of these days you will wake up and find yourself dead :)
je ne parle pas le francais (because you're saying "i dont speak french" in the language itself)
Whenever I was climbing as a boy, my Mum used to say this to me. The worrying thing is I'm planning to use it on my son soon:
"If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me."
Preferably with a Welsh accent - "And there it was... Gone!"
"I see," said the blind man, who picked up his hammer and saw. :-P
this statement is a lie.
or
this statement is not true.
"Watch your eyes!"
(From Bill Cosby, "Himself")
"Don't let your brains fall out! Have you lost your mind?"
--------------------------------
Here's the rest of the poem that the line "Back to back they faced each other" comes from.
Early in the morning, in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys, got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
Came and shot, the two dead boys.
If you don't belive what I say is true,
Ask the blind man, he saw it all too.
A little pain never hurt anyone.
May I ask a question?
I’m not going to say, “I told you so.”
If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive!
Thank God I’m an atheist.
Evil isn’t all bad.
POTTER-
i never thought i could be so high, laying there on the ground.
This is something my dad says
'I see, I see,' said the blind man to the deaf man, who could hear.
actaually the poem is:
one fine day in the middle of the night
two dead men got up to fight
back to back they faced each other
drew their swords and shot eachother
the blind man saw
the deaf man heard
the crippled man ran for help
the ambulance came screeching around the sraigth corner at zero miles an hour half killing a dead cat.
or it might just be another version.
nd heres another.
"apon becoming blind he saw the world differently'
je ne parle pas le francais (because you're saying "i dont speak french" in the language itself)
and how about this one " je ne comprende francais" cause you are saying you don't understand french in french.
how about this:
george w. bush: "i will help our country succeed"
When someone calls you and you answer your phone and they say "Hey, are you awake?". haha
did you hear about the polish javlin team???
they opted to recieve.
Some of the ones I've heard
"Microsoft Works"
"Military Intelligence"
"Norton Anti-virus"
Look at the hills! You can't see them!
My nose is running...
1: someone standing over your shoulder and asks, "what are u doing?"
2: someone calls u on the house phone then asks, where are u? or....are u at home?
3: u've lost something and looking for it and someone clearly see's u still looking but asks, "did u find it?"
4:
I like this 1
I hear it a lot
No entiendo Espanol(ur sayin i dont understand spanish in spanish
how's about Jumbo shrimp?
Are you sleeping..?
Just for fun. I know a slightly different version of "The Two Dead Boys" poem that keeps more with the Irish Bulls theme.
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot one another
Two deaf policemen heard the noise
And came and shot the two dead boys
If you don't believe this lie that's true
Go ask the blind man--he saw it too
______________________________
I also know another one :-)
I see! said the blind man to his deaf wife as he stuck his wooden leg out the window to see if it was raining.
Shut your mouth when you're talking to me!
womans rights.
haha i win
Oooh! Good one: personal computer! Also, "Ni hongo ga Dekimasen." Which is I don't speak Japanese in... you guessed it, Japanese.
Here's the way my grandfather taught me "One Fine Day" (though we called it "Two Dead Boys"). It's likely a compilation of several nonsense doggerals.
Two Dead Boys
Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Horray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.
He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.
He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.
I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.
S~A~H
One fine day around midnight two old boys lined up to fight, back to back they faced eachother pulled out thier swords and shot eachother. a deaf policeman heard the noise, up and shot those 2 dead boys. if you don't believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too!
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